Some days it feels like yesterday, others, it feels like an eternity has passed.  I can talk about you now without crying… much.  I no longer wake in a panic because I haven’t been out to take care of you.  I know where you are, I know you’re safe and cared for, I know you’re happy and free, and I know someday I’ll see you again, in all your handsome glory.


You were, and continue to be, my True North.  Always guiding, never fading, gently helping me correct course when I begin to stray.  You were a champ in the pen, and a champion of my heart.  I miss looking into your sweet brown eyes, the way you liked to snuffle my hair with your velvety nose, your smell…  Just your presence, and the effect it had on me.  Telling you it was time to say goodbye was arguably the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.  When we laid you to rest, part of my soul went with you.  I’ll never again be who I was when you were here.


I’d give anything to hear you call out to me from your stall again.  To hear you impatiently muttering and stomping around, because I was taking entirely too long to get to you from my car.  To see your brows twitch and furrow when I ask you to do something new or different, you could never hide your feelings.  To see you rooting around in your corner feeder to find the handful of gummy bears hidden among the alfalfa cubes.  You had a sweet tooth just like me.  I was so fortunate to have you for as long as I did, but I miss you every day just the same.


Missing and loving you here on Earth every day my darling boy,

Your Mama



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